Hello and welcome to a weekly newsletter that will probably just contain a lot of bad jokes about beer. I’ve got to put this content somewhere, and God knows I can’t put it all on my girlfriend or she’ll leave me for someone who doesn’t randomly shout puns about cranberries.
Speaking of fruit, we’ve been watching a lot of cooking shows recently. One I’ve super enjoyed is a reality show on Netflix where bartenders make very fancy cocktails and compete against each other to win an obscene amount of money. It’s called Drink Masters. Watching this show has prompted my girlfriend to make drinks of her own; wildly interesting concoctions that include special techniques like making “oleo-saccharum,” which sounds like a new brand of Splenda but is really just leaving citrus peels in sugar until it turns into good tasting gunk. There is also “fat washing,” which is not scrubbing yourself with butter, like I originally thought, but is instead the act of dumping liquor into any kind of oil and then freezing it so the fat comes off the top in greasy chunks. What’s left behind? Flavored alcohol.
The miracle of science!
Anyway here’s me and the dog and an old fashioned made by Kayla, who “fat washed” this bourbon with bacon grease (and then stuck a piece of candied bacon inside it as a special snack). I am very aware that this is cool as hell and that if left to my own devices I’d have placed a slice of pizza on the side of a can of beer and called it a “garnish.”
This week I also spent a lot of time crawling around in a word document, trying and failing to find the exact right way to say something. The problem with that approach is that most of the time the image refuses to find me until I’ve left the document entirely. I’m falling asleep or I’m walking the dog or I’m taking a shower and then BAM, there it is, finally; something horrible and beautiful and the exact right question I’ve been trying to ask all day. But no, it will not stay with me inside the word document. I don’t blame the image for abandoning ship; I hate it in there, too.
But enough about that.
Let’s talk about you. Have you been feeling weird about the implosion of Twitter? And then feeling weird because it’s just a social media application, there shouldn’t be so many feelings attached to it, but then feeling weird about feeling like that, because there is nostalgia and good memories there (bad ones, too), and it feels kind of embarrassing to admit that to people? I’ve made some of my greatest friends on Twitter and that’s also how I met my girlfriend, sure, but I’d say that I really used it as an incredible tool for discovering more about myself and building confidence in my writing.
A man walked into a bar. A cran walked into a bar. Technically that cran is a ravioli.
How wonderful to know that something as absurd as typing 140 characters into a blank box could produce love and friendship and art.
I have still not decided exactly how this newsletter will function every week. I don’t want to just talk about myself all the time (aren’t I always talking about myself), but I’m not too worried. I bet it will find a good shape all on its own.
To end, here are things I enjoyed this week:
Gina Chung’s forthcoming novel, Sea Change (very pretty and very tender and very bodied - preorder here)
The song “Nothing From Nothing” by Billy Preston (start your day with this song and see if your morning doesn’t improve)
Watching a very round possum crawl up the fence in our backyard (he fell halfway and then did the worlds worst pull up trying to correct the situation, incredible feat of bravery and skill)
Collecting sticks from the neighborhood for my firepit; this is a sickness and I cannot stop doing it, we don’t need more, I will do it again this afternoon, regardless
Flavored coffee grounds
(feels like a lil treat)
Courtesy Bar in Winter Park, FL and their very citrusy and flavorful olives (I have never liked olives and these are the first I’ve enjoyed)
I hope your week goes smoothly. Talk soon.
Love,
Dad
The way I’m so excited for this newsletter
This newsletter is everything I had hoped it would be. I'm looking forward to seeing it goes forward.
I have to agree with you about Twitter. I originally joined Twitter because I wanted to know when the local cupcake place down the street had special flavors, but somehow I've been unable to fully quit it since that fateful day in 2009. I remember very clearly wonder what in the world I would do with it because no one I knew was on it, and that was before celebrities started to use it.
Anyway, I'm always here for as many Cran- related jokes as you've got.
Congrats on the newsletter, I love it!